Todd and Dustin Standing (Left Side)

Todd on Left. Dustin on Right.

I was thinking this angle for when Dustin is speaking his lines.

Todd (Left) and Dustin (Right) Standing

This was the angle I was thinking of for when Todd (on left) is saying his lines.

Todd and Dustin Sitting (Right Side)

Todd on Left. Dustin on Right.

We should also get this type of shot from the left hand side.

Todd and Dustin on the Train Platform and Road

EXT. TRAIN PLATFORM (NASSAU) EVENING (A LITTLE LATER)

A train pulls into the station and comes to a stop. The doors open and out walk a few passengers, followed by Todd and Dustin.

DUSTIN

Sounds good, so are we still on for basketball tomorrow?

TODD

Yeah.

DUSTIN

You gonna be there a half hour before me like always?

TODD

11:00 o’clock.

DUSTIN

I don’t understand you, we get two days a week to sleep late and you always (gets cut off). . .

TODD

I take the 10:05 train every Saturday.

DUSTIN

You and that girl.

TODD

She meets someone from (stops speaking abruptly). . .

We see a figure, dressed all in black, walking creepily through the woods nearby.

DUSTIN

Don’t worry, I got this under control.

Dustin shows Todd his switchblade.

TODD

I’m not worried, I always feel safe in public. I still can’t believe you bought that thing. You remind me of my mother, she’s always scared I’m going to get mugged.

Revised Todd and Dustin on Train

INT. TRAIN CAR EVENING (AFTER WORK)

The exterior of the train rushes by. Inside, Todd and Dustin converse after another typical day at work. Both are sitting. Todd reads the newspaper, while Dustin texts on his phone. The opening shot focuses on the newspaper’s front cover. Before they begin talking, the shots highlight the various aspects of their business attire – black, polished dress shoes, a briefcase, dress pants, a dress shirt, a tie, a wristwatch.

TODD

They’re trying to pass the death penalty in New York.

DUSTIN

It’ll never happen.

TODD

Some powerful people are for it.

Two women come into sight. Todd and Dustin both get up to give their seats on the crowded train to the ladies. Todd and Dustin are now standing — Todd holds the center aisle bar, while Dustin grasps the overhead bar.

DUSTIN

So you really believe in capital punishment?

TODD

It shouldn’t be about politics or lawyers. It should be about assholes getting what they deserve. If you murder someone, it should come back to you.

DUSTIN

So you believe in karma?

TODD

It’s not about karma, it’s about common sense. I believe in all of our actions coming full circle. That’s why I treat women well. I’ve learned to respect women, and now I wanna settle down.

DUSTIN

[quickly jumping in]

That gal you have your eye on is as good as any.

Dustin’s reference to Clara snaps Todd out of the newspaper article. He suddenly realizes that Clara isn’t on the train today.

TODD

Yea, it’s weird she’s not here.

She sits there every day.

(She always sits there)

The camera cuts to a close-up of the empty seat.

DUSTIN

[in a reassuring tone]

Probably missed the 7 o’clock.

Todd and Dustin Scene-Part 1 of 3

INT. TRAIN CAR EVENING (AFTER WORK, 7PM)

The exterior of the train rushes by. Inside, Todd and Dustin converse after another typical day at work. Both are sitting. Todd reads the newspaper, while Dustin texts on his phone. The opening shot focuses on the newspaper’s front cover. Before they begin talking, the shots highlight the various aspects of their business attire – black, polished dress shoes, a briefcase, dress pants, a dress shirt, a tie, a wristwatch.

TODD
They’re trying to pass the death penalty in New York.

DUSTIN
It’ll never happen.

TODD
Some powerful people are for it.

Two women come into sight. Todd and Dustin both get up to give their seats on the crowded train to the ladies. Todd and Dustin are now standing — Todd holds the center aisle bar, while Dustin grasps the overhead bar.

DUSTIN
So you really believe in capital punishment?

TODD
It’s not about politics or lawyers. It’s about assholes getting what they deserve. If you murder someone, it should come back to you.

DUSTIN
So you believe in karma?

TODD
Karma’s more of a spiritual thing. I believe in justice. I believe in all of our actions coming full circle. That’s why I treat women well. Cause I’ve shit on them and they’ve shit on me. [Pause] I’ve been there. I’m done with that. I’ve learned to respect women, and now I wanna settle down.

DUSTIN
That dame you have your eye on is as good as any.

TODD
Yea, it’s weird she’s not here. [nods in her direction] She sits there every day.

The camera cuts to a close-up of the empty seat.

DUSTIN
[in an intimate, but brushing-it-off tone]
Probably missed the 7.

Clara Scene

INT. KITCHEN-DAY

The kitchen is small but every thing is used effectively. An elaborate spice rack stands on the far counter filled with three dozen spices. There is plenty of counter space. Everything is neat and placed with a purpose. Even the tin of coffee grinds are placed neatly and strategically. Clara talks on her cell phone.

CLARA
Mom, I'm not going to get mugged, I take the train with hundreds of people everyday.

A beat (Clara listens as her mother nags)
CLARA
Mom, you don't understand (gets cut off) [walks over to coffee maker]
CLARA
(speaks fast, tries to get a word in) Well, not everyone can afford gas (gets cut off) [listens, carefully pours grinds into coffee maker]
CLARA
This isn't Jersey we (gets cut off)
CLARA
(less agitated) Only a few more days [looks at her makeup]
CLARA
I'm getting promoted. [walks into the bathroom, switches phone into other hand and begins applying makeup]
CLARA
(laughs) Mom, I'm not coming home(gets cut off)...I know you do.
CLARA
I have a good (gets cut off)...I'm finally settling in here
CLARA
I met (gets cut off)...(begins to smile, slightly laughs) Yea (smile continues to widen)
CLARA
He's very cute [listens] you'd definitely approve

CU. Todd pull back as he walks with Dustin
V.O. CLARA
Tall, dark hair, handsome